YOU DESERVE MY HONESTY. SO I'M GOING TO BE HONEST. I RECENTLY COMPARED MYSELF TO SOMEONE AND WANTED TO CHANGE SOMETHING ABOUT ME.
Have you ever felt this way? If you say no, you're not a human being. At some point, we all compare ourselves to one another and think about ways to change or improve. I'm not downing self-improvement, but I am stomping on comparison and insecurities. We see someone whom is more beautiful than we are or dresses better, and we look at ourselves and think, "Maybe I should try that or I need to keep my nails done too." It's just these "nit-picky" things we do that are mostly unhealthy.
We have to know the difference. I thank God for His Holy Spirit revealing things that I otherwise would brush off. When I see this woman, she fits the "description", her hair is always done, her nails look great, she's just being herself and she's pretty. But why do I feel the need to watch out for her? Why do I want to avoid her? Why do I try to over analyze her?
BECAUSE THERE'S A ROOT OF INSECURITY INSIDE OF ME.
Somewhere in my heart I feel that I'm not as pretty and I have some "work" to do. Ladies, this is so unhealthy. And it FEELS unhealthy. I know that some circumstances and life events have hurt how we see ourselves, (a divorce, a betrayal, bullying, etc) but why do we still carry the feelings from those events?
Let's take a look at our heart. The heart is the very core of who we are, it holds our motives, intentions, thoughts, desires, it's the driving force of our life. In the book of Proverbs, chapter 4 verse 23 says that we must guard our hearts, because the issues of life flow from it. And Jesus Christ tells us that evil flows out of our hearts.
So I want you to see your heart as a tree.
On the tree, there are roots that each of us have. If you think about the process of a real tree, the roots are down in the soil getting nutrients to supply to the whole tree. Think about your roots... where would your insecurities and comparison traits come from? I'll tell you mine: the music I listened to always glorified one type of woman, I have experienced betrayal and infidelity, and I got bullied for being my size. At some point in my life, these negative events brought nutrients to my tree!
Not feeling good enough.
Insecure about my looks.
Not getting attention.
Covering up flaws.
These were the fruits growing on my tree because the roots were in negative soil. We can't always change the environment we grow up in, or the things that happen to us. But we can change our response to them. We also can change our influences like what we watch and listen to. This is how the issues get inside of our heart and rather than replace the soil, we water it, and watch the tree grow.
Now when we see someone who's better or has it all together, we feel upset about ourselves. The fruit starts to show. Have you ever been angry or hostile at someone for no reason? And deep down you knew what it was, they're too pretty or too nice, everything that you wished you could be?
Stop being so hard on yourself. God isn't even that tough on you.
You aren't perfect but allow yourself to be perfected.
I wish I could tell you that I didn't feel this way sometimes. I wish I could always feel whole and healthy, but it's not always the case. We live in a culture where we have to fight for our identity and protect it. We live in a culture where we have to force ourselves to look in the mirror and say, "I AM GOOD ENOUGH."
TRYING TO BE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE WILL NEVER MAKE US HAPPY!
We must realize that God made us who we are for a reason. And when we try to be like someone else, we can never please Him and be what He designed us to be. It's a waste of time and energy. I have a purpose being who I am, not being like her. If you've found yourself trying to be someone that you are not, I encourage you to evaluate your feelings...what is causing you to behave this way? And then ask yourself, how can I change how I feel? How can I change my perspective?
The best place to start is in the Word of God because, well, He made you lol. He knows what you are and who you're gonna be! We can never go wrong being more like His Son, Jesus Christ! After all, being like Christ is what makes us God's children.
"For I know the thoughts I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil; to give you a future, and a hope."
Do you have a sister, friend, or cousin who is struggling with comparison? Share this post with them and share your thoughts in the comments below! Let's discuss and get through this battle together. <3