I have been teaching about modesty since 2017, and I have never seen so much disdain and sensitivity about a topic that should be simple to discuss. I have encountered women from many walks of life, and it seems like there is a growing need for this topic to be redeemed in the church. Let's look at six reasons why women hate modesty, taken from the opinions I've seen over the past few years.
But first, shameless plug... if you landed on this blog and you're interested in learning about God's truth, download our free Modesty Playbook: A Biblical Blueprint for Modest Fashion.
Why Modesty is Hard to Discuss
"Modesty has not been preached correctly. I feel that the preaching has demonized women's bodies." Women are hurt by this form of preaching because it causes them to feel body shame. Feelings of shame cause people to withdraw from God rather than come boldly before Him. We witness this in the first human beings, Adam and Eve. So when modesty is being discussed, these women feel ashamed or embarrassed. Women's bodies are not demonic, they are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. Whether you're thin, thick, or plus-size, you are accepted by God. Your body type is not a sin and neither is it something to hide out of shame. Your body is sacred to God and should be held in high regard as the temple of God's holy spirit.
"Modesty hasn't been taught biblically. I've heard biased opinions instead of scriptural references." How we dress is often subjective which brings a lot of opinions, preferences, and styles. Especially living in a highly social culture, there are plenty of opinions to go around. Sometimes those opinions come from the pulpit, but it's also not all bad if it's wise and godly counsel. As believers, we are not instructed to live by opinions but by God's truth. If opinions are influencing your obedience to God, it's up to you to silence the noise of the culture and dig deep into God's word concerning your life and topics of interest.
"I don't like feeling limited or bound by fashion rules and traditions." The traditions of man and "Churchianity" can be crippling and turn a lot of women away from the truth found in scripture. I've shared my personal experience with this being raised in a nondenominational church that enforced strict modesty and natural beauty. While this upbringing had some pros, the cons were that I became double-minded and rebellious. When we stray from the truth found in scripture and become traditional legalists, we might think God's word is hard to keep and exhausting. But the truth is, the traditions of man are hard to keep, which is why Jesus said "Come to Me and find rest." God's word is not burdensome but is life and freedom to our souls.
"I don't like when men discuss women's issues. It feels controlling." There are more men preachers and teachers than women. So it can feel offputting when men lead the way on women's issues. I think partially due to the feminist movement and cultural issues like "my body my choice", it's harder for women to receive from men today. I think it's worth discovering why you don't like when men discuss women's problems and how can women champion these areas in a more relatable and graceful way.
"I feel like we should all be able to express ourselves without being judged." Some people believe that we shouldn't enforce our beliefs on others and allow people to express themselves without judgment. The church is not called to judge the world for their evil deeds, Jesus says they have their judge, which is the word of God. However, we are called to judge the church and give correction. People who choose not to believe in God and His word will do what they want, but our love for these people compels us to share Christ with them because they are perishing. And our love for the church is to encourage one another to fear God and keep His commandments.
"Men are never held accountable for their lust. It's always about women being modest." And the most verbalized reason women hate modesty would be this one. I agree, that men have not been held accountable as much as women. Men are equally responsible for their response to women as women are with immodest fashion. Purity and modesty culture seems to be a thorn in the flesh for women and a pass for men to avoid accountability. How can we fix this? Men should hold men accountable for checking the sins in their hearts. Don't let the ladies do it for you, God is listening to their complaints. Also, I have touched lightly on the topic of modesty and men.
How Can Women Embrace Modesty Teaching?
It all boils down to our love and fear of God. This fear of God isn't being scared and hiding from Him, it's the deep respect, awe, and reverence of God. We should place value in His truth regardless of how humans have failed to communicate it.
Did you know that one of the Greek definitions of modesty is reverence? While preachers may have miscommunicated God's heart for fashion and body image, it was always meant to be another way to worship God and offer ourselves as sacrifices to Him.
Jesus said in John 14:15, "If you love me, you will obey my commandments." Your obedience to God in this area proves how much you truly love Him.
If you're ready to embrace modesty and apply it to your life, download our free Modesty Playbook: A Biblical Blueprint for Modest Fashion and get our email updates for new studies and teachings from both The Modest Movement and Christian Body Image.
P.S. There are so many more reasons why people hate modesty teaching, post more of them in the comments that I haven't mentioned. Thanks!
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