Modesty is for Men: Not Just a Women's Issue

Women feel attacked by modesty culture and even by this ministry, but that's never our intention. We love the truth and God gave us this mandate to help restore the virtue and command of modesty into His church.

Modesty is a command to both males and females. Although the primary scriptures 1 Timothy 2:9 and 1 Peter 3:3-4 mention women and wives, modesty is still a fruit of the spirit. Modesty is synonymous with humility, a characteristic of the Holy Spirit whom all believers house. But why is modesty not preached to men like it is to women? Why does it only seem like a problem for women? Let's dive in.

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Why Modesty Resonates with Women More

Some would argue, that "the scriptures about modesty were directed towards the women in the church", yes, for a specific reason both Timothy and Peter instructed women to focus on godly character more than appearance (1 Peter 3:3-4), and being modest and appropriate instead of flamboyant and attention-seeking (1 Timothy 2:9).

In those days, women would flaunt their wealth status by their hairdos and the types of fabric they wore. I would imagine that many of them showed up to the synagogue shining with jewels, eye-catching hairstyles, and fine dresses that can only be imported from another country.

It's natural for women to beautify themselves, especially in historical times when women wouldn't be chosen as wives unless they went through "beautification". Esther 2 gives us insight into the beautification process for the women to be chosen by the King.

"Before each young woman was taken to the king’s bed, she was prescribed twelve months of beauty treatments—six months with oil of myrrh, followed by six months with special perfumes and ointments. When it was time for her to go to the king’s palace, she was given her choice of whatever clothing or jewelry she wanted to take from the harem. That evening she was taken to the king’s private rooms, and the next morning she was brought to the second harem, where the king’s wives lived. There she would be under the care of Shaashgaz, the king’s eunuch in charge of the concubines. She would never go to the king again unless he had especially enjoyed her and requested her by name." - Esther 2:12-14

God wired men to be visual creatures and women to be visual however most of our decisions are made emotionally. So it makes sense that women care more about their appearance than a man would. Beauty determined a woman's status in life since historical times.

But what is preventing modesty from also being an instruction to men? Don't they also wear clothes? Don't men also have a responsibility for how they dress and present themselves in public?

Modesty Is Also For Men

Men are not exempt from the responsibility of holiness regarding their clothing. As mentioned, modesty is a fruit of the spirit because it's synonymous with humility.

The definition of modest in Hebrew means humble, chaste, lowly, and meek. Are men exempt from these virtues in the church? I don't believe so. It seems that most of the pressure and expectations are on the women regarding appropriate dress and behavior. But if God calls us all to be pure, humble, lowly in mind, and meek then that means men have a responsibility as well.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:20, "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."

Men's bodies don't belong to themselves to do whatever they wish! The scripture is clear, all must honor God with their bodies. Men should dress in a way that does not encourage lust among women. Scriptures about sensuality, lasciviousness, and impurity also apply to men.

When men flaunt their wealth and their muscles, they're also acting in the flesh concerning their appearance. Just because women are driven by emotions does not mean they don't struggle with lust. A man with his chest out works just the same as a woman with her cleavage out.

Men Struggling with Lust

Since we are on the topic, let's briefly talk about the other responsibility men have regarding modesty. The truth is, it does not matter what a woman is wearing, men who struggle with lust will see her sinfully.

Modesty does not solve a lust issue, it covers it. God can see the adultery you commit in your heart even if she's fully covered.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away." - Matthew 5:28-29

Now, why did Jesus address this to the men? Men were wired visually and would make decisions based on their sight whereas a woman's decision is mostly influenced emotionally. But is the woman exempt from looking lustfully at a man? No! She, too, has committed adultery in her heart when she looks with a sexual desire for a man.

This is not the same as seeing someone and how they look. A lustful intention is to see a vision of what you wish you could have or do with them. And if this person is not your spouse, it is an "inordinate desire."

Men and Women Should Love Each Other

This post alone probably won't solve the major gender wars we see about modesty. But one thing we need more of is love for each other. Whenever I talk about this on social media, there is at least one woman who is offended by men and why women have to be modest.

For many reasons, men and women have a generational hatred for each other which has spurned movements like feminism and traditionalism.

Despite the backlash and gender strife, I am reminded of what Jesus always told us.

"I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another" - John 13:34

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." - Romans 12:10

Men and women should honor each other by realizing our differences and doing what is best to create a healthy medium. Both genders are called to holiness and to be set apart. Although there are physical differences, we are equal in God's eyes.

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