Updated: Nov 29, 2019
Let's be honest, this is every woman's battle...not just Ayesha Curry's. I'm sure you've seen the headlines and the responses to Ayesha Curry's recent discussion on Jada Smith Pinkett's Red Table Talk Facebook Series. She mentioned that it would be nice to have male attention, since her husband gets most of it from his female fans. I was actually shocked that she was so open about her insecurity to millions of people. I was also shocked that she would say that, being a professing Christian. Not saying that Christian women don't have insecurities, but the fact that she said it so openly with millions of men watching lol. Hopefully her transparency has not opened the door for all kinds of male attention moving forward, but that's besides the point!
Ayesha Curry has been bashed all week and some women actually can relate to her, including myself. The main thought is, "Why would she want outside male attention when she's married?" And the other is, "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be desired." True, ladies, it is nothing wrong with that, but it can be something wrong with it. Everyone wants to feel like they are appetizing, in other words, everybody wants to be a snack 😅 I'm single and often times I wonder if I look good enough. I'm always working and my hair isn't always done... I still get passes and looks, so I guess I'm okay lol. But even so, do I feel good about me because of what others say or because of what I say and how I feel?
Insecurity by definition is the uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
Obviously there are many of us who feel uncertain or have anxiety about who we are and how we look. We want to be liked, we want to be a snack, we want attention. THIS IS NORMAL. But underneath all of that, who's voice are we believing about us? What mold do we think we need to fit in order to be secure? I know that sometimes we grow weary in hearing what God says about us, "Of course He believes I'm beautiful, He made me. Of course He says I'm wonderfully made, of course He says I'm the apple of His eye."
But in this present life, is God's word about us...enough? I believe God can change any heart and can help anyone, and I also believe that God's word is TRUTH. However, with God's word comes practical application. With God's word is the promise that you can rest from the pressures of this present age. I believe a lot of our insecurities are coming from the imagery we see constantly on our screens. There is an obvious amount of idolatry in appearance. What can we do to guard our own hearts and be confident in who God made us to be, when we are forced to accept the standards of the culture? When everyone else is so popular for their looks and stature?
Be Careful Who You Listen To About YOU
There's a voice in your head that tells you that you aren't good enough. There's a song on your playlist that tells you that you don't have "the look". There's a TV Show on right now that encourages the standards of modern beauty. There's a billboard up right now advertising plastic surgery. There's a magazine published right now that gives you 1,000 steps and diets to a sexier you. There are girls in your neighborhood getting bullied for how they were made. My point...be careful who you listen to about YOU. There's a God in Heaven wishing you would just rest from all of the pressure and find security in Him.
What Do You Have The Power To Change?
If there's seriously something you are having a hard time accepting about your appearance, first, ask yourself why is it hard to accept? Really analyze it until you reach the root. I used to have the hardest time accepting my body type, which is skinny. Why? Because people made fun of me for it and the music I listened to told me it was a disgrace. You have to be thick or no one wants you. At times, it can be a touchy subject when it always comes to that. 🙄 People will always have something to say... but I'm learning that what matters is what I say, and even better, what God says because He formed me in the womb. Hey, neither of us had a say in how we should be made...
Before you decide to change anything, I want you to ask, why would I change it? Is it on the basis of the culture? What someone else said? A health reason? Or cause I want to? Our beauty is so vain, literally everyday we grow older. That's not an excuse for us to avoid eating healthy and exercising, but it is an excuse for you not to put so much emphasis on it. Do you know what God says about our beauty?
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears (respects, reverence) the Lord is to be praised."- Proverbs 31:30
So go get your hair and nails done, get that gym membership, but make sure you aren't doing this to keep up with the culture. Girl, they ain't neva satisfied! Beauty is a fleeting matter and they'll have you spending hundreds per month on the latest products.
What Are You Focusing On?
This is also why He says, "Don't focus on the outward appearance, fancy hairstyles, fancy clothes and jewelry. But women should cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God." - 1 Peter 3:3-4
Are you focusing too much externally and disregarding the inward beauty that God wants to develop? As mentioned, our outside influences do a great job at getting our attention and telling us who we should be. We're too busy focused on getting more likes than thinking about how God wants to shape us. Your inner beauty, your character will take you further than looks ever will. Who you are as a person is far greater than how you look as a person. Spend time getting to know God, and you will know yourself and be more confident in who He made you to be. I'm a witness, love you sis!